Kissing Dictators
I just heard that former disgraced presidentJimmy Carter won the Nobel Peace Prize. Carter is known for having ignored foreign policy impacts on the economy (favoring “conservation” over engagement with the Middle East energy partners who have most impact on domestic economy). This led to the energy crisis, 10% inflation, energy riots and race riots. One might wonder why this sort of record would warrant a peace prize; but one recognizes that Carter emminently deserves the prize when one considers that Carter invented the most formidable technique known to peace-prize contestants this century: “kissing dictators”
Indeed, the genesis of the “kissing dictators” technique came directly from Carter’s experiences destroying the American economy. Carter’s deep sense of guilt at causing such “malaise” and suffering to the American people motivated him to seek penance bymeddling in the Middle East fiercely. He took to heart the idea of “turn the other cheek”, and began in earnest to seek out any evil or violent dictator withwhom he could hug, kiss, and turnthe other cheek to demonstrate the true peace-loving and affable “Carter”nature. For example, he actively worked to convince the Shah of Iran to step down in favor of the Ayatollah, and he signed a defense agreement with Libya’s Gadhafi (inclusing sales of military aircraft and kickbacks for his brother). No matter that the Ayatollah soon began slaughtering Americans and Ghadafi rewarded Carter by funding terrorist attacks on Americans — Carterrefused to be thecause ofany more suffering by attacking or resisting the enemies of America.
Of course, the economy didn’t improve and the list of enemies only grew, but that wasn’t the point. (We are talking about a peace prize here!) When the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan, Carter made a show of boycotting the Olympics and refusing to sell wheat to the Communists, but stuck to the overall plan of accomplishing nothing (other than crippling the American economy). He did manage to broker a peace accord which in retrospect did little for Middle East peace and opened the doors for Arafat’s reign of terror to begin.
This was the time period during which Carter perfected the skill of lustily kissing world dictators for the camera. Here is an example:
It was not long before Carter had started a fad. Shown here, Castro and Arafat gaze lovingly; and next is a well-posed photo of Arafat laying some tongue on a senior military aide. With dedication like that, it is no wonder that Arafat earned a coveted Nobel Peace Prize even before his mentor Carter!
Carter redoubled his efforts, though, and his love sessions with Fidel Castro, Hafez al Assad, Kim Il Sung, and the Sandinistas seem to have done the trick.
